in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
