Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize