YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina is officially offended.
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