my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
