mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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