She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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