I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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