two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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