dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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