Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
