what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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