i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Green mimosas i think yes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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