you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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