so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
