Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
