she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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