I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
