after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
