I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
