I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sext me about skeletons
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
