I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
