When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
