Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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