no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
