he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
