what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
