I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize