dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
