Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
