Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
