No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
