hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She's the barista slut.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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