Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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