Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
last night I used snow as a chaser
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize