my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
