I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
