Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
