My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God, I missed his penis.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
