Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
