You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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