It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
