don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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