Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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