First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
