Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
