Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
