you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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