North Korea, Best Korea!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
