maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
