now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
