I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
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