I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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