Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
