please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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