oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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