God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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