Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
