I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
