He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
