WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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