ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
