The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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