Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
