My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i drank out of a bidet.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
