butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
